Tuesday night I was absolutely convinced that the girl in the walls from that one SPN episode was in my room and she was going to drag me under the bed and kill me. I was so scared, I turned on my super bright “natural light” lamp, and I just kept thinking “Don’t grab my arm please don’t grab my arm please please please don’t grab my arm.”

So yesterday night I shut my closet door and put my chair in front of it and made sure there was nothing and nobody in my room before closing the door and pulling my clothes hamper across it. I kept my light on though.

Reasons to love


I don’t like to look back.

His smile made me miserable, his laugh made me cry.
His voice made my throat tight.

Her grace made me stumble, her wit made me stupid.
Her sincerity made me fake.

But look at me now.

I’m smiling, I’m laughing, I’m speaking.
I’m walking, I’m thinking, I’m true.

I’m getting better, I’m okay now,
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Sometimes I look at a person’s face and think, “If you sat still for long enough, I would draw you and it would look fantastic because god damn you have a good face and the world should know how good you look.”

Then I remember that a lot of people don’t appreciate having their portraits drawn by amateurs who won’t pay them and I go back to just really wishing I could do sculpting.

Sweet Little Teardrops


Something is weeping
There are drops in the air
Frozen, laced, silver and white
Something weeps silver and white 

I catch a drop on my hand
Gone, instantaneous transformation
Nothing but a teardrop left
Such a sweet little teardrop

The drops kiss the earth and die
Too fragile to live, as of yet
But as the temperature drops
They fall and create a bed for others 

I catch them on my hand
Gone, fleeting as spring, as love
Nothing but teardrops left
Such sweet little teardrops

They fall in a ballet, now
Lace catching each other and twirling
Deep banks banding the world
White and blue as far as I can see

I catch one on my hand
It stays, perfect and special
I hold my breath
Such sweet little teardrops 

I breathe out and they are gone
Nothing but teardrops